Monthly Archives: April 2016

Fear is imagination wrongly used.

We are probably better off at this point to imagine his road ahead, illness or not, as a journey. The term originally meant the distance one could travel in one day. We could also remind ourselves of Lao-tse’s dictum, “the … Continue reading

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Like the waters of a flood…

It is not possible to memorialize the sufferings of each of us or our families. Maybe something useful is to approach loss from a variety of angles, reminding us how far, wide, and deep the damage may spread. Like the … Continue reading

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Am I responsible for my illness?

Yes. But first let me clarify what I mean by responsibility. It is simply the ability to respond with attention and care in an ongoing way to whatever the fates have delivered to me. Who else but I? Did I … Continue reading

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The Portuguese man of war…

From Wikipedia: The Portuguese man of war  is not a single multicellular organism but a colonial organism made up of specialized minute individual organisms called zooids. These zooids are attached to one another and physiologically integrated to the extent that they … Continue reading

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Bring cash 1966-2016

Old school. Ounces and paper, bring cash. New school. Milligrams and delivery systems, bring cash. in my wheelchair in the back of our van, Sheila driving,  a vinyl guy in a streaming world.  I’d been hesitant. Looking at the web … Continue reading

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My Diagnosis-Part II

Three years later, in 1982, on a blazing hot summer weekend, my wife, my children (then ages eleven and eight), and I climbed down an embankment toward a small lake in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Shockingly, I could … Continue reading

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The Bumpy Cart

“Life is suffering,” the Buddha stated as the first of the Four Noble Truths. The Pali word he used for suffering, dukkha, has its roots in the term for a cart’s axle badly fitted to a misaligned axle hole. The … Continue reading

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My Diagnosis 1979-Part I

This is how I remember it. On a spring day in 1979, I left my car at a local service station for a minor repair. As I walked three-quarters of a mile home, I noticed that I stumbled as the … Continue reading

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For it is not just we, the ill, who are responsible for our experience of illness…

When we judge ourselves or our loved ones to be ill enough to seek medical advice, we are usually prepared to place ourselves in the hands of another to receive care and be relieved of what worries and ails us. … Continue reading

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It is what it is and it’s not

Ambiguity is a major part of living with any chronic illness. In the earliest years of my illness. It shook me up quite a bit when I would awaken at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning unable to … Continue reading

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